Regret
by no cure for crazy
Summary: The war was finally over. They won. But he didn't feel Victorious.


AN: So I really don't know where exactly this came from. I just got to writing and this came about. So…yeah. This has actually been on my laptop for months now and I've just now found it and decided to upload it.

Disclaimer: I think I've established that I am not JK Rowling.

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><p>Regret<p>

The war was finally over. They won. But he didn't feel Victorious. His brother was dead and it was his fault. He was there when the explosion went off. He could have – should have jumped into front of his brother. But he didn't. He saved himself. Like he's done since he walked out on his family. It's all he's ever known how to do. This time, it cost him his brother.

_His death was my fault. _

He didn't even have the guts to face his family. Instead in was out in the Entrance Hall by himself. He could easily see his them through the open doors of the Great Hall. But he didn't dare walk over to them. They were busy mourning their brother and son. Something he didn't have a right to do. He'd lost those rights when he walked on out them.

"You know, you can come and mourn with us," a familiar voice said, pulling him from his thoughts.

Percy shook his head as he turned around to face his older brother, Charlie. "No, I don't belong in there."

Charlie crossed her arms over his chest. "We're your family. All of us are hurting right. I don't much care about what happened in the past. What matters now is your family."

"As much pain as I've put mum and everyone through. I don't deserve to be a part of the Weasley family anymore. I don't even deserve to be a Gryffindor, because I'm such a bloody coward." Percy walked over to the steps, sat down and put his face in hands.

"I stood by and let my brother get killed," he continued. "I'm going to have to live with that for the rest of my life."

"You don't have to go through it alone, Percy," Charlie told him. "You may feel like it was your fault. But was there really anything that you could have done?"

"I could have done something, I could have—"

But Charlie cut him off. "You can't worry about the what if's. All they're going to do is drive you insane. Just forget about what you could have done."

Percy glanced up at his brother. "I can't just forget about it. The memory will always be there when I look at family pictures and see Fred and George; when in reality, Fred is gone. And it's my fault. And I'm going to regret that for the rest of my life."

"You know, I really don't give a damn about what you think is the right thing to do," Charlie told him. "But almost everything you've thought was right has been wrong. And if you chose to walk away from your family again, at a time like this, after what you've done…You'll be dead to me and to everyone. Don't do any more damage to your relationship to mum. You have this time to fix it and you better do it."

"But I—"

"I know you're going to regret not saving Fred," Charlie continued. "But, you didn't cause the explosion. It's not your fault and you shouldn't beat yourself up over something you couldn't control. Now get your arse up and get in there with your family."

Percy reluctantly stood up, but didn't move.

"I will put you in a headlock and drag you in there if I have to," Charlie threatened.

Percy sighed and took a deep before, before he slowly walked towards the Great Hall and his family. As he neared Fred's lifeless body on the ground, he couldn't stop himself from trembling slightly. Fred's face was pale and still held the ghost of his last laugh.

_At least he died doing what he loved. Laughing. _

Of course that didn't change anything. He was still gone and there was nothing he could do about it. He couldn't believe that his brother was lying on the Great Hall floor, dead.

_That should be me…_

The realization hit him like a ton of bricks and he couldn't take it anymore. He dropped to his knees just inches away from Fred's body and couldn't stop the tears that filled his eyes. The only thing he could ask himself was _why?_

_Why Fred? Why not me? It should have been me. _

Sometimes, Fred constantly annoyed him. But that's what younger brothers were supposed to do. No matter what he did, Percy still loved him – he always would.

He would never get a chance to make it up to Fred. He would never be able to tell him how sorry he was, how he wished things had been different. But more importantly, he would never have a chance to say goodbye. He would never have a proper goodbye with his younger brother and it was his fault.

Percy felt hands on his shoulders and he glanced to find his father standing behind him.

He suddenly realized that no matter what happened between him and his family, they would still be that; a family. They would always be connected through a special bond. Even if it was severed, it could be healed, with time.

In that moment, Percy knew that he was getting a second chance with his family. He also knew, through the unspoken tension that lingered in the air, that if he blew it, he wouldn't get another one.


End file.
